30th bday celebration?

Ookay its way ling to go to my 30th bday.. And iv already thinking bout the celebration..
Well i did celebrated a mini brunch-wash n blow- celebration kinda way with Leen today.. Its her birthday today!! And i couldn't felt more happier or lucky to make her day. I just hope i left some mark in her special day despite our weird hard to explain friendship. It just complicated. But nothing matters when we meet up every time, its like we just had the last meeting few days before that. We still shared everything together. So it works for me.

I just hope i could do something to myself on my bday this year. Its like more to appreciate and treat myself for being such a tough person, still kind hearted, helpful to those who needed and cant resist in advising ppl, try the best for being a good friend and many more. I might be known as a damn hell sensitive and emotional person and garang and negative, but hell im sure i never actually do bad things to ppl.

I never played guys heart. Im sure bout my feeling and i wont give false hope even i just want his companion when i have no one else. I never cheat.
I never do crazy things like kantoikan org where the result could destroy a life!
I never take advantage on my friends on purpose. I seriously dont. I may had sometimes borrowed some money or things but thats because i never ever mind when it come to my money or things. Maybe thats bad bcoz not all ppl think like me.
Even how much i dont want to, but i cant help to say the right things and advise as best as i can.

Overall, all above is tiring and stressed me out sometimes. Because sometimes i feel like needed advise and right words to hear. Not just simply attack and don't bother how i felt. I did feel lonely even i still surrounded with good friend. Maybe im the one who dint know how to handle when they actually did.

Thats why, now, i try not to bother and tired to advise anymore. Let it be. I don't know if its a real friend criteria. But i guess my mind need to be prioritized first.

So i think i need to plan big for this celebration. I hope i managed to do some huuugeee savings. With that NY lah, istanbul lah, bangkok lah in plan.. I dont know..