Freelanc a.k.a Unemployed

its almost been 3 months im staying home working freelance..
and i fucking lovin it!!!

muahahaha...

im just afraid that i cannot accept any other way of living anymore..woah..scary kan..
because i still wanna live in my own house on my own.. and in doin that i need stabil income..means i still need to work..huhu

owh rasa macam nak buat my goals in 3 years time (its 3 years before im 35)

1. Buy my house!
2. Travel to Europe
3. Taking 1 year Master in London
4. Travel, travel, travel
5. Live happily

Owh..i de gak terfikir2 nak cari laki kaya buat laki for me dont have to work...
Hahaha..how things changed right? I always thought that i cant be the one who stay home even laki support..but now i think i can :D
Because life so stress free.. except bila xdak du laa..huhu

X file

Of course u cant help it to keep on stalking the new girlfriend of your exes right?
I know its not healthy.. But trust me il get through it soon enough..I hope..

I knew bout Zul new girlfriend virally when he virally uploaded their pics where Fara and Mas came about it and told me. I was being blocked by my exes (which I dont know whats the purpose)..I mean i would love to show off my life and hoping to make them ..err ..envy? haha i dont know..A girl actions is sometimes not to be questioned.

I seem to have no problem knowing Zul have moved on. I mean, iv come to my senses that maybe Im the one that always be in his way. Its time for him to move to a new girl. Because i love him. I will always be. Hey I still got our pic in my room and I never bothered to remove it. Its bout pure love that hard to explain. Heard bout 'If u love someone enough, U will let the person go'? Because if thats what makes him happy, Il be happy too. Except that of course, dont let the new girl bother me or try to create prob with me. Then Im good.

So that bastard have a new girl too! Wow..it didnt take him long enough to find a new girl to mess up with. Seriously, x rasa bersalah langsung ka? Duit aku pun x bayaq.. Okay I really disturbed with this one. I mean I feel like to approach the new girl and warn her. U dont even have the criteria to be a man let alone someone's boyfriend! Fuck him. yes fuck him!

And to see that the way they started just remind of how he did with me last time. I mean the FB activities and all. And iv noticed they started on his birthday and I bet it was through FB too. Typical no balls bastard.

Did my 'doa orang teraniaya' accepted and granted? I just wonder..
I dont see that he is miserable and yet got a new girlfriend some more.. How the hell he got to move on so easily..Owh yea, i almost forgot.. He didnt loss anything..because he didnt fucking pay anything.. LOSER

What should i do with this one yea?
Or should i do nothing and forgive..?
Owh thats hard..because i dont think i can ever forgive him in million years.
What I can do?
Wishing that he will be rotten not in the afterlife, but now!

Clash of Clan

Haha.. never mistaken me for someone who are not a game person..I love games esp computer games. And now theres phone games. I had this installed in my iPhone when the game started to get famous, but then i stopped playing because it require lots of your time and commitment. I mean the upgrading required like 8hours-2days! Memang x jadi keja la..This is the kind of strategy game which i love. It involves war and defense, teamwork and intelligent. 

So now with my flexible time..between handling my freelance task with Zainal and staying at home or sleepover at my girlfriends house..or just go out and drive..Im now able to play it 100%. And since I joined Nudin and Afif group : Malayneum..memang terus lekat laa.. 

So, im doing this freelance thing assisting Zainal in getting funds or grant to companies. Sort of things that i did in OSA. And Zainal will pay! So good enough.

Owh.. Im so glad im able to go out from the house and do work like I used to love to do before. How weird meeting people could make my day. Owh for a marketing person, it is a bout meeting people. However most of the time we are more like been fake and pretending to like the people..LOL..yea..thats the truth. Esp when I did sales, its like before entering the room, I will put up my sales mask and the acting started. Yea sometime u got annoyed and pissed dealing with fuckers who think they own the world just because the decision at their hands..and yet u still need to smile.

But the best thing about marketing job, to listen and gather other people experience and knowledge. Listening and observing their achievement, the way they communicate, and go to places like Petronas, Surgeon's room, Ministry of Defense (iv been to the minister room once) enough to make me feel superior.

And i love that part so much. I love to feel important. I love to enter every ministry in Putrajaya and sometime went to the highest floor. I love to sit in one table with big shots and dine. 

Just like COC, with the right strategy, I could get access to this people and places, and once I managed to place myself in the war clan, I could win when my strategy works. ;)

14 feb 2015

After that reception thingy, theres another one, the honeymoon thingy plak..

So apart from i already paid for the wedding hall previously, i have also bought the honeymoon trip as well.. To Boracay, Philiphines.

And the day was yesterday prior to nak celebrate the love day as well lah. Konon lah..i bet if it happen, i would spend my days with the locals instead.

And after carefully thought, (it took me months to make this decision) iv decided to replace it with mama. So we can have our moment together and plus shes been expressing bout her staying home and bored. And its Valentine Day, so im sure shes the right candidate.

End up.. Mama being mama.. She invite fara and afif as well. Well thats expected lah dgn mama ni.

Regardless, at least i wont be thinking bout things that happened and affect my long awaited vacay ni. Except that the counter AirAsia girl asked bout that bastard presence. But no it didnt affect me at all. Seriously.. 😚

Im just gonna enjoy the white sand and the blue sea. Lay down and indulge in my book and fruit juice. 

And take lotsa picthaaaa 😝

Little2 things that affect a lot..

I have actually made myself clear that to do something that will make me feel happy first!

For instance, to go out or not, what to cook, to do or not.. Am i gonna be entertained or not. Is it worth my time and money..Yea this example is quite general.

Esp if the things quite cost me and things that im not gonna do every now and then. 

Hence, i think this should be the last for me to do things that make me unhappy and not worth it. For this time around, i got my own reason why i make it happened.

Been there, done that.

Im kinda feel sorry for my sis and some of my single girlfriends that still put boyfriend as one of life target and getting heartbroken every-now and then. I mean, after the unsuccessful engagement, Im actually become better at not thinking and putting that as priority anymore.

Now i know how does it feel when one had a divorce and the feeling of 'its okay been there done that'.. How to elaborate this yea?

Alright. I had taste the moment and celebration one of the important day in one's life and once it did not succeed, I feel like its ok..'been there,done that'. We have spent and the preparation was overwhelmed. Even the day was so beautiful with the fresh flower, presence of close family and friends. I was even count the day as my own family and friends gathering. And when the bastard party demolish all that, Im kinda like okay lets not giving chance to this kinda people to do that again to me and my family.

So, my point is, thanks to that (surprisingly), it have make me to eye on other important part of my life that is more important and challenging and fun. Like plan to further my Master in London, or quit this stupid Bumiputera Malay minded job and picking apple in Australia or simply spent any cents left in the account to simply purchase flight ticket for vacation.

And boyfriend or marriage has become not that interesting anymore. Because there's too much other things that you cant enjoyed anymore once ur settled down. Seriously, Iv witnessed many my older married girlfriends that envy another single life girlfriend that been jumping from Dubai to London and back to Dubai just because she cant stand the coldness ;D

And I know I wont be drown in enviousness because I still got chance to do that.

I know its hard to advise and explain this to my sister because she did not went through this life experience yet (and I hope she never will). I hope she will skip this part, and manage to enjoy this other things and only then found The Boyfriend and settled down.

Admittedly, boyfriend is fun to have around, but dont deny it they actually a stress contributor as well. I enjoyed a man's company but once Im not, I dont mind to end it and you go figure how to deal with it.

Jobs.. Not Steve Jobs.. But my Job

Officially, my last day would be on this coming 9th Feb 2015. Technically, i only got 2 days more to tag my access card and done for good.

I just had enough with typical Malay Bumiputera company. Politics overshadow the benefits. Is it worth it? Def NO! Time to move on.

Iv been reading articles on jobs, dream jobs, moving on, time to leave your job for a better you.. And im sure and believe in myself that im doing the right thing. I shouldnt waste much time living or working unhappily.

New job? Still looking. Not goin to repeat the same mistakes. Grab any for the sake of having a job. This time around, theres a checklist that the job need to look at.. Hoho 😄. The most important and no 1 will be: PASSION

I must love the offer first. Then ill figure how to love it.

How i wish i could just buy a tix and fly to OZ or London, looking for job and apparently there are vacancy for apple picking.. And then i applied for the working permit and without realize iv stayed there for a year!! Auuww bestnya..

Thats the thing.. Its not bout how glamor or corporate or high post the job is anymore.. Its all biut how passion you are with your job. I dont care.. 

Il be unemployed until i found the job that i love!

My brother is married!!

Last 24th January 2015 was the date I personally chose in March 2014 to have supposedly me and Ainuddin's double wedding. Nothing special about the date except that was the only available date for early 2015 and I was totally in love with the place.

Iv been to Duchess Palace, Ampang for 2 times years before, and I knew I have found my dream wedding place. It is a house tent concept and I always wanted that kind. Then I found the Laman Kayangan in Shah Alam which have similar tent house!!Even if the reception gonna be held at our house, I want the tent outside for the reception. I went there for a wedding exhibition in the morning and later in the evening i brought mama and abah and paid the deposit ;D

Regardless, I am so happy to see my brother and my lovely sis in law sit on the dais inside the beautiful tent. Everyone compliment "Such a beautiful wedding'. And I couldn't help from feeling proud and happy because i chose that place :)

Honestly, there was never a slight feeling of sadness or envy for me not being the one who sat on the dais. Im just so happy looking at the bride and groom, my happy parents and all family and friends enjoyed their time in the cozy and beautiful hall. There's nothing i would want except my family got chanced to have the first wedding in the family to be held there.

I know some friends ad relatives feel sorry for me, after what had happened. But I'v recovered and moved on. I dont even shed tears except when abah sang Truly after his speech. Tetiba rasa sebak sat. :')

Overall it was a very beautiful wedding. And I am very happy and relieved everything is done and success. Of course there's hiccups here and there, but the most important thing no body knows ;)

p/s: I still want the tent house if i eventually get married one day ;)