Fun thing to do.. age 31 life crisis.

I think i need to do or search for some fun activity lah..
activities that will make me feel im living my life again..

Gym ke eh? Idk..maybe..it was fun though..except that i need to settle the remaining fees :|

Singer?
I cant stop thinking those 2 offers that will always haunted me with regrets.
One: 3piece band at Eastin hotel. But seriously i think il have a showmanship problem. Believe it or not..i sangat lah malu and kaku on stage :D
Two: Offered to do recording for single.. The prob was must based in JB. But the composer would like to promote the song as drama or film soundtrack.. My biggest regret ever. But how lah to quit job and stay in JB? Sapa nak bayaq my expenses every month? huhu..sedey sangat.

So, now iv been thinking what should i get myself into without conflicted my permanent boring job. Hmmm..
Iv tried business on my own before..Iv tried FB business..iv tried baby clothing booth business..

Should I get back to my own trading business? abah mentioned it last weekend as if he knew iv been thinking bout it too. The problem is, with this inflexible working method in this company, how can i go out and meeting client or looking for jobs? And with the new MOF system that required an office now, will i able to allocate few amount from my basic salary to pay the monthly rent? All reason seems risky.

But seriously i feels my life is getting dull now.
With no partner to act as one.. Im basically living like singles. With parents.

I feel like taking risk and renting for my own place.
Financially it does not allowed it, but at least there's something new to venture into.

Hmmmmmmm...

Work Sucks!

Honestly, i dislike my job here.
I dont hate it, but theres no motivation or attraction that could wake me up early in the morning with happy heart.
Everyday, i dont feel like going to work.

It got to do with the uninteresting benefit here..no  mileage claim and no commission. And of course typical Bumiputera company. Poor management and implementation. I think i had enough working in a bumiputera company already.
Basically what im earning here is a basic salary to pay my expenses monthly and another year of working experience. Thats it. No extra income..no fun.

Maybe the only positive thing that i can think of is that with this working experience related to Oil n Gas industry..it could be my stepping stone to a big company..like Petronas. Iv always wanted to work in Petronas. With their benefits and pay and yes experience..I could see myself settling down there.

And its nearer to my house. Like 10 minutes away?

But how long can i endure this 'takda hati' working here..

Unhappy things actually can bring yourself down worst than u think of. It affect my mood, my motivation and my behavior too!

Dear God, help me with this. I know iv been asking too much with little return to U...but please help me giving solution on this.TQ

Song

This song brings lots of meaning.
What happened in your past somehow could jeopardize ur future though. My advise to the young ones. Never got ur heart broken too many times. It might got recovered but it never healed. Things happened in ur past will become ur guidance and lesson. Some might caused good but some not.

I think heartbroken could caused negative impact where ul lose faith and trust in guys. It makes u become independent and started to thing that u can embrace the life living on ur own. Like mine, i gave up on guys and started to plan my life living alone. A house of my own and adopted baby was in the plan.

Until, my now fiance came in and changed the whole plan and idea. I never took it wholeheartedly because im still haunted by the toxic experience.

Therefore, what i need is constant assurance that this is real and reliable. This could make u live more happily compare to living alone. This could be the right future.

And i think, to do that..ur partner should not be selfish and thinking bout what he had in his past too. Because, ur a guy! No matter what, u owned the first move. Not us woman. We need to trust more and convinced more. Or it will make no difference either ur there or not.

well at least to a woman like me.

I agreed tolerance if the most important thing. Perhaps too much tolerance could make u feel unworthy. Whats the point of being a partner in a relationship and not being pampered by your guy.

Pampered here is very subjective.
Many of my friends would know, im not the kind who will go for material or physical. Im the kind who look for real love and yeah unfortunately hopeless romantic.
My definition of pampering is all about communication, sharing, trust, care and love. It do sound cliche but thats who i am. Im expecting birthday wish and thoughts rather than a birthday cake.

Hence, thats is my tolerance. I dont count how much money u earn but im calculative on how much time u spare for me. If i feel im not being cared, I will automatically count as im not being loved.

But again, too much of it could make u feel unworthy.