It has been 18 days since the engagement day. We were back on the silence treatment mode. He did it again. I kena again. The most important thing Iv remind him so many times, never shut me out!! But he did it. Not once, but many times since before merisik.
At that time, when i were about to feel break into tears, my stronger Nadya came and told me that..You are strong Nadya, uv been endure this billionth time. Be patience. Handle it elegantly and professionally. This is the time to apply whatever you've been reading in the self motivational books.
Along the way, being me..I will always upload or express my thoughts and feeling at that time with quotes or pictures that linked to me. Of course, hoping that he will understand more. But he didnt. He keep on doing it.
So i sabar. It continues until 25th June.
I knew about he'll be coming down to bring is mom to IJN for her routine checkup.
And he whatsapp me that hes coming and like to meet me to pass the bekas hantaran and discuss things.
I was relieved! Finally sense gets into his mine to be a man and communicate.
I didnt know that night will be the last time Il becoming a fiance.
He totally block his mind and himself from any kind of discussion. Basically he only wanna hear what he wanna hear. Every time I try to explain with a very calm tone, he will block and snap it out. So, he is still the same. Frustration and red face was the only thing I could express. I gave up with this kinda attitude. He do not want to discuss a thing!!
And he ask, do I still wanna continue this engagement.
I said, of course! Yes we had a fight but that doesn't mean we have to give up.
I mean this is not high school weh! This has involved families! This has cost my pride and lots of money!
And he quoted ' I dont think we should'
I was about to feel..am I being dumped? No this is not a high school break up..This is real man. U could not simply ditch me after every only God knows.
U ask me to marry you. U met my parents to get me to marry u. And now u wanna end it as if I was nothing!
I continued my diner. Even I felt like swallowed sands.
I maintained my coolness. Deep inside I was totally shattered.
I ask if his parents knew about this.. and of course. Only immature man will do those kinda immature and selfish decision. They didnt know.
I brought him to meet his parents!! I wonder who is the man in the relationship.
Otw to the hotel, I called Nurul, tried to get some soothing words. I rasa mcm nak nangis..but I didnt. But I really need to talk to someone. My voice was shaking. She tried her best to calm me down and ask me to drive carefully. She advised to maintain my coolness and not to burst out. Show that im not the bad guy here.
In the room, was his uncle and his parents. Watching some drama. The actress was named Nadia in the drama. And the uncle joked about our similar name. And he said my name sounds like Indonesian name when I told him my full name.
So it started with his mom asked, hows preparation so far?
So I told her what did her son just ask.
And his parents surprised with the news.
I told his mom so many times...I never ever have a thought to end it. He wants it. He didnt even wanna stay in the hotel room to face the problem he had caused.
The mother ask me to calm down and not to worry. She will try to talk to her son.
She ask me not to tell my parents about it.
She even accompanied me to my car that was parked in the dark basement.
She said she will call.
On the way back, Zul returned my calls before. I share everything with him. He ask me to be patience and not to jump into conclusion. Things are not finalized yet and he said that the guy will come into his senses once hes okay.
I just felt relieved when he acted that way. He was not being bias. He know me so well and he did make me calm. He felt sorry for me. He just want me to be happy but I keep on being tested with all this bullshit.
I waited for 2 days.
I call, and the mother cant talk.
I wait for another 2 weeks. I still havent shared with my mom.
During those 2 killing weeks, I felt so vulnerable. I couldn't bear the thoughts of how my father would respond to the news. Iv been arranging my words on how to tell my parents.The engagement was not even last for a month! Decision like this would have been thought for some time, and uv decided to spill the shit after the engagement? Where is your senses?
After 2 weeks, the mom called me. I was at the office.
She said, her son still sticking to his words.
I wonder if she knocked her son's head and put some wise word in it. He is so childish.
She asked, do i want this too because thats what her son said so.
I said, if he can simply do things like this of course i feel scared already.
And again, I didnt ask for this ending!
I told my mom on the same day at night. I told her everything.
It took me 4 days to tell my father later on.
I dont think abah took it that well. He went up and being silence about it for days.
It was Ramadan, and I have never being tested that great before. Tarawikh was the only time and place I could feel calm. I said my prayers in silence to Him and ask for His guidance. It was the most memorable and meaningful Ramadan.
The parents took another 2 weeks to have guts to call my parents. And that was also after mama sms the shallow guy to face the situation. Abah agreed to meet up after raya.
16th August 2014.
Ayah Nyah and Mak Puan been so nice to join the discussion. Iv made a list of loss I have to bear by myself. Basically it was deposits and expenses that I have paid with my own money for the wedding preparation. The intention was to claim from his side since I wont gain any of it too.
And I just couldnt believe everything that had happened on that day.
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