Emotional heart

i watched wedding video clips..i cried..
i listened to CT's song..i cried..
i send my E invitation trough whatsapp..i cried..

WTF is happening to me.. ni baru E, belum solemnization..duh..
i get so emotional on few things lately..
and im super happy excited preparing myself for the day..

Like this Friday iv scheduled myself with facial, mani pedi and hair treatment..
On Saturday I need to pick up the cake, the fruits and the chandelier..
Owh btw abah has successfully be a gem completed the simple, elegant yet awesome dais. I was like sooo touched! (no sharing now..x surprise lah)

Will keep updating!
xoxo

this is how it started..

I am so glad im back in love with my BF again..pheww..

So 16 more days to go to get engaged. Now i can do the wed/E preparation with lovely feelings and berbunga2.. haha

My BFF asked me last night while we chillin', am I ready to get married actually because she thinks im not. Maybe because of this non-stop arguments between us.

I said, honestly I AM ready.

I dont think i have problem to be loyal,faithful and commit. That's for start which I think the most important thing to think before u settled down. There's no such thing as enjoy habis2an before married..NO! U must slowly transit and changed the lifestyle, behavior and thinking. A friend of mine now being haunted by her not so past before married regrets because afraid that it might happened to her children. Don't do that. Changed before u decided to get married.

I argued because I care. I care because I accept him. I scared thinking that this is just another wrong man. Iv been haunted with my long-term-toxic-rship and i do not wanna get trapped again. My experience with mans always guarded me. And I believe arguments is the best way for me to get to know my BF more. Because thats how I last for 10 years in my prev rship. Because along the years Iv learnt bout my ex inside out and it makes me loved and be patient with him more. So thats the only way. Actually we just knew each other last Sep 13 even we'v met in 2001. And he proposed in Jan 14. And our parents met each other in Feb. And now wer getting engaged in June. Honestly, yes I feel tied to him so the only way to make this work is by improving it. By arguments :p

Iv realized that im getting better at listening to people's advise, patient more and tolerate. I took time to think and respond. Iv learnt respect is needed. Im more responsible to my earning.

Things that I didnt possessed before.

So im getting mature myself and its a sign for me that Im ready to have kids of my own. I didnt inherit my mama's tahap kesabaran yang maha tinggi. But iv excel in other areas. I believe I am. I believe Il be a good mother.

Thats enough for me to be ready to get married dont u think?
Of course different people carried different perspectives. For me, all above is such a BIG achievement in my life.. and I valued myself as best wife and mother material.

Enjoy la habis2an during your youth years..not because ur gettin married.
Do not get married at young age because trust me u still nak enjoy habis2an.

And i said this because of my experience with my life and circles.

Paris van Java

I did shop till drop and broke.

                                               

So me, fara, mama n afif went to Bandung for my enggagement and wedding cloth hunting.

We finished RM2300 in one store for lace,tulle,satin clothes. Yeap. 

And im pretty sure if we bought the same amount of clothing here in Malaysia the cost will rise up to 40%. Yeap.

So its worth it.

Owh not forget to mention that i spent another RM700 for the FOS.. Daymn son.

But it is still worth it because i got an authentic Ralph Lauren Polo shirt for him for RM70. I bought 2. :D

Tu x msuk tempah lg okeh..

Check balance kat cimb clicks sat.. 😅

Some people in my life

Some people:

1. Live in denial just to admit their wrongs, until something happened. Even then, they wont agreed with our words. They 'll say that's what we called experience.
2. Being defensive because they are too proud too admit the obvious fact. Let the greater power suppress more and more until what will be left only their words.
3. Afraid to try or change the routine because of some people or situation..
4. Too blend with the cultural.
5. Some experience are meant to be regretted. Because it affect the future.
6. Sorry doesn't mean anything.. It will be repeated.

The syndrome

Remember this film?

Okay..Im not gonna touch on the fights or Kate or Anne..

I wanna relate myself with their preparation towards the big day. Because I think Im experiencing the same thing right now..

Owh my..where should I start..

Or to be exact..when did it start? Im pretty sure it started after he ticked me with the ring. And after dengue. Yeap I get emotional because he only visited me one time! O N E!! And since then I never get recover..

Its not bout BIG things honestly..its about communication, sharing, effort and interest. Yeap sound simple but it is not because its general and subjective. But actually it can help because of its generality u can ask for advise or read. In case ur too ignorant and never care bout these area before.

I mean lets do this together! Okay ur far..so communicate!!

Walk the talk.. and update each other.. sharing!!

Again walk the talk..theres a reason why we discuss and plan..effort!!

Are u really in this? show fucking interest!!

Im a bit worried day by day because im the who feel do not want to communicate anymore, mals nak sharing.. no effort toward the rship anymore..and my only interest is on the wedding..not him anymore.

Im glad when i checked with my newly married girlfriends that it is normal!! Phew..

It will faded and gone once he shake the kadi's hand. And the post effect will be the opposite of it.

Lets just pray and pray..that this is only temporary..

Because i do not wanna waste all the money..and yeah pride.

Mystery Tragedy

Im a bit scared to write down my thoughts this time..because its involved country issues..I mean externally..
I dont mind bang on the internal politic issue though ;D

Its about the tragedy plane of MH370.
From the first day, I and abah had discussion and he finalized it with crash. Thats it. He is the kind who only consider facts and experience. So he wouldnt go for any controversial theory.

While from my point of theory, I have always have this fishy feeling that it is more than that.
Okay with Allah's willing and power, kun fa ya kun.. if He wanted it , it will eventually happened.
But, lets do some controversial theory and I end up with these:

1. Why Malaysia airline?
2. MAS have a clean record and this will be the 2nd tragedy in its record.
3. Why Beijing flight? It must got to do with the route or destination or passenger perhaps?

I always believe it is got to do with countries dispute. Either its among Russia,US,China and the 'tan's countries. Especially looking at the track and new findings every time, i mean what the heck?! Why cant the findings done urgently and could get the result in 3 days. So no other country citizen will get mad, no controversial accusation will be made. Im referring to those who have the technology and capability on the satellite or radar and all. For me it seems like buying time.

So my silent theory have developed based on the same thinking been shared in blogs and FB. I tried to relate the updated news in Awani and the aggressive theory in FB. I would say, some can do and some not.

But I knew, since day 1, there will be no good news in term of living survivor. I have to agreed with Abah with this. Because even since day 1, the way the plane couldnt be tracked at all even after 6 hours is something else. And it continues almost a week until someone help and start giving acceptable infos.

I understand it takes time to do the analysis, but why dont it started since day 1? Why does suddenly we knew about the active ping and now only Paris authority help us on the direction towards the Indian Ocean.

I dont know. I just feel something is not right here.
Its like someone do not want the aircraft to be found and everyone inside to be 'erased'.

Its an eye opener tragedy for Malaysia.
Many lesson we should learn from the tragedy.
Or its Allah punishment for something the country did?


Wallahua'lam.
Al-Fatihah and deepest condolence to the victim's family and friends.

The preparation

It is cute when ur father seems like over excited to plan ur wedding.

But it is not when he seems to forget that its MY wedding!

Now, plus with less coperation from the other side too, im not that into planning the dream wed. 

So i wonder, how did other couples managed to have fun do the planning? Seriously in my case, everything seems to become tawar already..

 And i feel like focusing on my work rather than look into the preparation.. Huh.