Newme.

Merry Christmas to those who are supposed to celebrate and also to those who shouldn't but thought what the heck..its just a tree..yea.. Go ahead..whateva.

5 more days to go to new year!! to next year!! to 2013!! to 30. Me.

I literally cant wait to celebrate the new year eve despite not knowing what the year will bring me into. I guess life is fun on its own. Too much strict planning and hesitation will ruin the adventure of it. What matter is ORGANIZING! that was what iv been doing. (at least that what i thought) :D

If u plan to live your life without organizing? might as well u just live in the jungle, where u don't care about work or house or your car! Owh i do care about my 2012 Resolution..yea remember? I think iv ticked most of it. Okay im not gonna track back the list..but let see how was my achievement..

1. Gym
I did assign for it!!!yeay me!!! even i stop visiting it after the fasting month (that was the excuse). I know i shouldn't when i did experienced result..My body was slimmer and light..and i sang better too. u know from the breathing exercise..perhaps next year il continue in my own apartment with the gym provided downstairs..pfft :)

2. House
Ookkaayy..i supposed to start with car which at least will explained the non-ticked house. If im not mistaken i did put it either car or house, didnt i? yeay so car it is! im sure and hope il get the my own house for living on next year.

3. Car
Yeayy...i got a new car...lets deliberate it more on later post..the main point is i finally finished paying my old beloved padaiyapa and intent to keep it by passed it to afif..and successfully bought a new car!!

4. Debt free
Well i like to put aside the new car and on going repayment PTPTN so i will think as im a debt free woman!! I have no credit card and i survived!!

I pretty sure that was the main points.
Apart from it..well u know..wedding..marriage..kids..bla bla..
I guess my planning to start producing babies on my 30 so that the eldest will be 20 when im 50 didnt really work out. But its okay..i totally okay with it..
I know its sounds weird when i just like totally crossed during my previous post regarding this topic..haha
But seriously..im okay already..yes. :)

I just had this new perspective.. Well it happened since i started to read those motivational hormones books i guess..and it continued with the Carrie novel, Summer and the City..and the climax was yesterday!Yes yesterday while i was helping my CEO and as usual once finished we like to talk bout man and woman. I suddenly felt everything we talked about all this while has taking effect.

I never appreciate the advantages of being single. All i ever complained was about my age,hormones,not getting married and not having kids..

I didn't know that how much trouble and fuss i have avoided when in relationship. Don't bullshit and tell me no its not. Even i was only in one serious relationship, but throughout the years iv been with many man and boys. I could be happier by not being controlled and needed explanation over stupid things where guys like to brought up when actually they did it all the time. E.g: not answering the phone..duh!

I could go anywhere i like. Surprisingly u may not realize this, but your parents even permit easier than the boyfie. The heck..macamla da kawin..and of course when ur married..apatah lg la kan..i pity to those girls who married a possessor freak. U cannot go anywhere!!! and yet by he went out with the boys until late night seems like a point that shouldn't be questioned! The fuck. I could not tolerate that. My principle is simple. Man and woman are equal in everything. Why must we agreed with them saying it vice versa?

Freedom with your friends, family and even stranger!!;) Why do people cheat?both sex. Because it natural and syaitan tu ada. Unless u really ready to settle down and even forgot to stalk hunkies walk right in front u, then i agreed this is not a prob. But if u feel to wear as if u singles and attraction by opposite sex other than ur hubby is needed..then u are trapped!and i feel terribly sorry to this group.. I could go to a cafe or club and flaunt whatever i have to be flaunted and flirt. I can have fun by doing this and the feeling that u still on the market without doubt, is the best ever.

The insecurity that i will posses if i married is the hideous of them all. Holding ur guys hands as if he will run away is pathetic. I could sense and track this kinda movement. Honestly im so mad when it comes this kind woman. Cant u feel good of urself and be superior at ur work or even home!? U could work and earn the same. U have the same quality inside out. At home u could do more by know how to cook and taking care the house and kids. Why must u feel unprotected when ur guy turn out to be unexpected. Let them be! With all the criteria u possessed u could live by yourself and even control the world!

That is why i feel so relieved not to have to go through all this stress source.
Happiness is myself.
I designed and destined it how i want it to be.
I dont want to be happy based on a man.
I dont have to rely on man's money to live.

One day it will come naturally. And i will have kids on my own. InshaAllah. :)