No more man.

It is not easy to live with a broken heart. And this heart has been mended for thousand times. Like a broken glass, it wont be that strong anymore.

I had so much things that need to let go but instead it keeps remained in my heart and mind. At some point I managed to forget it and just live happily. But it didn't stay that way for so  long because there's always something or someone who will trigger it back and put me back in the past.

I will never recover. I just survived. But i can never recover and I could never love or accept a man in my life. I will destroy them mentally. End up they will hurt me. Basically I myself caused it. Hence, I know I shouldn't put marriage as one of my goal in my life. Im not capable of accepting a man to be part in my life. There's always something that will make me live in doubt based on past experience. I will always in alert. I didn't let it flow and relax. Im a wreck-ship with so many flaws. No man can handle that.

I should proceed with my plan before all this started again. I was actually okay living single and kinda accept it already. Im prepared to live alone. Until he came and I gave him and myself chance to get hurt again.

I will buy a house and adopt a baby.

I have family and friends for me to turn to. They love me. I can rely on them. I dont think I need another stranger man come and ruined it.

At the moment im still in heartbroken-bitter-dark condition. But it will past. It always does. I always moved on. But then yeah..I wont recover. All this bitter memory will come and visit me once in a while and push me aback again. I dont think there's any man can handle that. Because in the end, all they ever wanted is women to think about them all the time. Seriously im tired of thinking bout that anymore. When will I be cared?